Habits

We understand habits as regularly performed or followed behaviour that become almost involuntary or occur subconsciously.  We know there are good habits and there are bad habits.  We also know old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form.  

In his bestseller book, The Power of Habit, author Charles Duhigg sheds some light on why it's hard to unlearn old habits and learn new ones.   Duhigg talks about the habit loop.  He explains that a habit consists of 3 parts - the que, the reward and the routine.

By interrogating our behaviour and understanding the ques and rewards of our habits, we can effectively adjust the routine that will lead to a changed habit.  Here’s a handy flow diagram you can use to help you change a habit.  It’s both fascinating and simple.  It’s practical and I’m definitely going to use it.  

Habits can control our lives.  Sometimes more than we care to admit or more than we are aware.  Some habits are formed during childhood or adolescence.  Some habits are cultural and we form them because we are told that’s the way to do things. We grow up with them and into them without realizing it’s just a habit. 

We typically focus on the infamous bad habits, like smoking and drinking, and the negative effects they have on our lives.  But what about the other little habits that have an influence on our daily lives?

Here are 3 of the most annoying habits I come across frequently:

1) Punctuality - How difficult can it be to be on time?  It's a habit if you're consistently late for work, meetings and social engagements. Make sure you are on time by being early.  And for heaven's sake, stop using the snooze function on your alarm!  It's a sure-fire way to guarantee you will be late, maybe not today, but it will catch you out.

2) Lame excuses - Lame excuses for being late.  Blaming the traffic is the all-time favorite.  We all have to deal with the traffic and there are days when a 20 car pile-up is going to cause delays.  But if you’re late most days of the week don’t blame it on the traffic, change your habit.   And there are lame excuses for doing a mediocre job.  Or the lame excuses for not delivering on an agreement.  Lame excuses, procrastination and dishonesty are close relatives in my book.  Kill the lame excuse habit immediately.   

3) Insincerity - A complete stranger phones you (usually to sell you something you have no need or use for) and without introducing himself or stating his business, enquires about your well-being.  Him: “Hello Sir, how are you?” Me: “What's it to you, you're not my doctor!”  That's what I want to say at least.  It's rude to be insincere and people see through it.  If you're not genuinely interested, don't ask.  

Changing habits require belief.  You must believe you can change.  And you can.  We hear people say “it's just the way I am” when they talk about a certain behaviour.  As if habits are genetically determined.  What they really say is “I am too lazy or don't care enough to change my behaviour." 

Habits and goals go hand in hand. Often a specific goal will drive the forming or the changing of a habit. We know that setting goals with definite action plans breeds success. Remember that when you consider changing a habit.

If you are not inclined to change a habit, at least be honest about it.  Say you don't want to change.  It's your life and your right.  Just be honest about it.  Most importantly, be honest with yourself.