The F word

I failed!  I tried and I failed.  I shall try again and do what I can to make sure I don't fail again. 

That's me most days of the week.  I screw up as much as anybody else.  Maybe a little bit more.  And I'm not ashamed to admit it. 

Well, not anymore. 

I used to try and avoid failing or making mistakes.  So much so that I'd rather not attempt something than risk the possibility of failing.  It kept me from enjoying many activities and pursuing opportunities that could have led to wonderful experiences.  My fear of failure held me back in my career and my personal life.

Yes, I suffered from a terrible case of I-wish-I-could-but-there's-no-way-I'm-going-to-risk-making-a-fool-of-myself.  Look it up, you may recognise some of the symptoms in your own behaviour. 

I'm happy to report that I'm much better now.   I learnt that failing is not defeat.  I now force myself out of my comfort zone regularly and with resolve. 

Here are five tips that helped me overcome my lengthy bout of I-W-I-C-B-T-N-W-I-G-T-R-M-A-F-O-M:

1) Fail with flair.  Embrace the fact that you can fail and do it in style.  There is no need to try and hide or be ashamed of our failed attempts.  There are many examples of very successful business leaders and historical figures that followed this principle.  Failing openly strengthens you.  Accept that nothing great is achieved without risks and failure.  Failing is an important part of learning and mastering a skill.

2) Get up, dust yourself off and try again.  And remember tip #1.  Every failed attempt is an opportunity to learn.  Learn the lessons and apply them in every new attempt.  Thomas Edison famously said that he didn't view the thousands of failed attempts to create the incandescent light as failures, but rather as ways how not to do it.   You may think failing makes you vulnerable, but failing makes you human.

3) Perseverance is often the difference between success and failure.  Sometimes we  give up without realising how close we are to success.  Know what success will look like and track your progress.  If your goal is clearly defined, it will be measureable and you will be able to track how close you are to success.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal - Henry Ford

4) Asking for help is OK.  Actually, it’s essential that you ask for help.  That different perspective or viewpoint may just spark the breakthrough you need.  The smartest people in the world know the value and benefit of asking for advice, opinions or help from trusted advisors, mentors, colleagues or friends.  Ask for help often, it will make you smarter.

5) Know when to call it quits.  Even the most aerodynamic kite needs a breeze to fly.  There is no point in spending your time and resources when there is no chance of success.  Refer to tip #3 - goal setting and tracking will help you make the correct decision .  Even when you have to admit failure in a particular project or venture, you still have valuable lessons that will stand you in good stead in future.

We are most certainly going to encounter failure on the road to success.  Failing forward is an important part of personal growth.