Friends

I was lucky enough to spend time with friends over the weekend.  All kinds of friends - very dear friends, old friends, new friends.  We missed the friends who couldn't be with us.

We had lots of fun though.  We shared experiences and we shared stories.  We laughed till we cried.  Then we laughed more. We came home and reminisced over the time we spent with our friends.  We laughed even more.  And we felt great.

Cheryl and I feel privileged to have experienced real friendship this weekend.  We declared to spend more time with our friends.  I'm sure you know the feeling.  I certainly hope you have similar experiences often.

What is friendship?

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies — Aristotle

Wikipedia defines friendship as a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people.  It goes on to list some of the characteristics of friendship as affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.

I believe the enjoyment of each other's company and the ability to be oneself are the main characteristics that define friendship.  If these characteristics are present, expressing our feelings and making mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend will follow effortlessly.

Sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, compassion and mutual understanding are significant characteristics in an established friendship.  In fact, they are essential characteristics in a healthy friendship.  These characteristics follow enjoying each other's company and the ability to be yourself, but they don't lead the process of forming a friendship.

Am I a good friend?

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.  Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.  Just walk beside me and be my friend. - Albert Camus

We can test how we do as friends against these wise words.  Are we walking beside our friends to support them when they need our care?  Are we walking in front of them, trying to lead them when we don't even know where they are going?  Or are we following them when we know they are heading into murky waters? 

We must allow our friendships to evolve.  Like the rest of life, friendships aren't static.  Give friendships the opportunity to grow the same way we and our friends grow as individuals.   

Let's not compete with our friends.  Let's be loyal to our friends.  Let's forgive our friends.  Let’s nurture our friendships.  Let’s keep our egos out of our friendships.  Let’s make time for our friends - true friends are worth every second.